"Sick and tired of turtles being pushed around, Sheldon started the Secret Turtle Liberation Front... of which he is still the only member."
"Sheldon has a tendency to sneeze, and drop his bombs at the wrong moment. The good news is that he can use his shell to protect himself from the blast. The bad news is that it makes it hard to make friends.
"Sheldon claims to have once been a professional pitcher in the Nightmare Baseball League. Since every written account pertaining to this has unexpectedly exploded, it is not recommended to question it."