Episode 1 title

Narrator: Hello, I'm that narrator you hear in every movie, TV show, commercial and mobile phone traffic app. Today, I want to welcome you to a special place. A place called... Skylands.
[Greebles chuckles]
Orange Greeble: Aw, an itsy bitsy baby dragon. I love baby dragons. Especially medium-rare ones.
Spyro: [whimpers]
Orange Greeble: Get 'im, boys!
Spyro: [weakly roars]
Orange Greeble: Ooh, I like my dragon meat smoky.
Spyro: [weakly roars]
Orange Greeble: Come on, little fella, do it again. [laughs maniacally]
Spyro: [inhales deeply]
Orange Greeble: My face! My ugly face!
Spyro: [roaring]
Blue Greeble: You win.
Spyro: Oh yeah! Spyro wins! [laughs]
Master Eon: Hello, little one. I mean you no harm.
Spyro: [scoffs]
Master Eon: You must be hungry. Barely touched corn-dog?
Spyro: [sniffs]
Master Eon: You are special, little dragon. [chuckles] Very special indeed.

[theme song playing]

Narrator: Our story begins here at Skylander Academy. The training ground where cadets learn how to defend the Skylands against all evil.

Hugo: Pardon me, coming through! A very important assistant with a very important pack -- Ow! What in the...
Sheep: [growls]
Hugo: [shrieks] Sheep! Everyone, cower for your lives!
Spyro: Hugo, chill. They're harmless.
Hugo: They are not harmless! They are harmful. They are literally full of harm!
Sheep: [growls]

Hugo: [shrieks] Did you see that? Oh, tell you all saw that!
Spyro: Dude, seek help. I don't mean one therapist. You need a team. Yo, what's happening, cadets? First-years, right? Yeah, yep, yep, yep, just like me four years ago. [chuckling] Well, not exactly like me. [chuckles] There's only one Spyro.
Wind-Up: Oh! Can I get a selfie with you?
Spyro: Totally.
[camera shutter flicks]
Wind-Up: I'm not even in it.
Spyro: You're welcome.
Eruptor: If you're all done with the Spyro Show, can we get back to our game of sheep ball?
Spyro: [chuckles] Relax, Eruptor. Just giving these cadets a little memento.
Eruptor: Nobody wants a shot of your butt.
Flashwing: Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!
Spyro: I think you may owe my butt an apology.
Stealth Elf: [sighs] I got this.

[sheep bleats]
Spyro: Hey! What are you doing, Stealth Elf?
Stealth Elf: I'm doing this. And this some of this.
Spyro: Those... things... are... all... very similar!
Stealth Elf: [chuckles]
Eruptor: Can we please get back to the game now, oh, Spyro the Great?
Spyro: Somebody's sure is grumpy. Did you wake up on the wrong side of the volcano this morning, big guy?
Eruptor: I am not grumpy! [groaning] That's grumpy.
Stealth Elf: Guys, guys, knock it off. We're on the same team, remember? Now, grow up and let's get back to throwing sheep at each other.
[sheep bleats]
[bell tolling]

Stealth Elf: Looks like you two just got saved by the class bell.
Spyro: So you're forfeiting.
Stealth Elf: No way!
Eruptor: We're just saying you're making us late!
Stealth Elf: Us?
Eruptor: Aw magma!
Spyro: Whoo! Wow! Spyro wins again!

Jet-Vac: Mmm. I saw that!
Stealth Elf: [yelps]
Jet-Vac: Cutting it pretty close for your final class, Miss Elf.
[Eruptor grunts]
Eruptor: [whispers] You think anyone noticed me?
Jet-Vac: I guess your friend Spyro had better things to-
Spyro: And I'm here. [chuckles] Let's do this, JV.
Jet-Vac: That's Professor Jet-Vac! And you're late. Again! You do realize that once becoming a Skylander, you can't just get by on raw talent! You have to work hard and be an equal part of your team!
Spyro: I'm getting my own team? I'll call it Team Spyro. Or, you know what? Just "Spyro", for brevity.
Jet-Vac: Class, Spyro here thinks his actions don't affect others. But to show him how truly wrong he is... Pop quiz!
Eruptor: This is all your fault, Spyro!
Spyro: Hey, hey, it's not always about me.
Spyro: Alright, so one last pop quiz. Big whoop. I got this!

[knocking on door]
Master Eon: Enter.
[door opening]
Hugo: Sir, I have your package. And His Awesomeness Spyro is also waiting outside as your requested.
Master Eon: Go easy on the lad, Hugo. It's not easy growing up an orphan. We're the closest thing he has to family, you know. [humming] When your beard is getting weird, Beard spray, for men!
Spyro: Ah, my main man!
Master Eon: [clears throat]
Spyro: Master Eon!
Master Eon: Have a seat. Can you explain your performance on this air studies quiz, Spyro?
Spyro: I can, but it won't be a good explanation. What? I passed?
Master Eon: You passed... barely.
Spyro: Yeah, but I passed. You didn't need that other word, because I passed. "Barely" is a bit judgemental.
Master Eon: [sighs] Spyro, you're on the verge on becoming a Skylander. Do you know what that means?
Spyro: I should start my own fan club?
Master Eon: You're missing the point. You'll soon be a part of something much bigger than just yourself.
Spyro: [sighs] Right, Master, of course. So you mean I should get someone to run my fan club for me. So I'm gonna need some headshots, right? And... Ooh! I should start practicing my autograph.
Master Eon: Come, let me show you something.

[mechanism clicking]
Spyro: So, it's a bookshelf.
Master Eon: That's not what I want to show you.

[scanner beeping]
Automated voice: Facial hair identified. Welcome, Master Eon.
Master Eon: Behold, the most precious relics of all of Skylands.
Spyro: Whoa. Whoa! The Giants! SWAP Force! [gasp] The Imaginators! A random candy cane!
Master Eon: Oh, there it is!
Spyro: [gasps] And The Book of Skylanders? Can I touch it? [grunting]

[electricity crackling]

Spyro: A simple "no" would've sufficed! [crashing]
Master Eon: [chuckles] Never gets old. Upon graduation, every Skylander is expertly drawn in this book by yours truly. I've been looking forward to inscribing you since I found you as a hatchling. You came into the world fending for yourself, a born fighter. I had a feeling deep in my beard that you were destined for greatness. But then, after you took the academy admission test and received the highest score ever... Anyway, I've been telling you since you were born how gifted you are for better or worse it seems, and despite your cockiness, immaturity, and brazen disregard for fire safety-
Spyro: Oh, and other kinds of safety.
Master Eon: [sighs] You see, this is what I'm talking about! Ah, I can't help but blame myself for over-dulging you and filling your head with grandiose notions, Spyro.
Spyro: [chuckles] I can't help but blame you either, but I'm totally willing to forgive you for it... [chuckles] this time.
Master Eon: I feel perhaps I created a monster by nurturing your confidence and talents all these years.
Spyro: Well, I am a dragon, so...
Master Eon: I'm talking about your unbridled ego! Now you must stop putting yourself first. Put your ego aside and start applying yourself fully. Can you do this, Spyro?
Spyro: Of course I can! I'm the greatest! Hey, your words, not mine.
Master Eon: Now, I suggest you go and rest up for the Skylander Games tomorrow. It is your final test, Spyro. And this time, barely passing will not be good enough.
Spyro: And I suggest you get ready to draw my handsome mug in that book.
Master Eon: This isn't just about flattering portraits drawn by my skilled hand, Spyro. It's about keeping the balance in Skylands. Your role as a member of the Skylanders is to be an agent of peace and balance in our world by defending it against foes that hunger for anarchy...
Spyro: [sighs]
Master Eon: ...loss, and eternal darkness. Threats that seem to be growing in number and power with each passing day, I fear. And of all the villains we face, none is so committed to the cause of destroying our peaceful way of life than...

Glumshanks: Kaos!
Kaos: I'm down here, Glumshanks, in the plotting chamber.
Glumshanks: I brought your scalding hot beverage, as requested.
Kaos: Excellent! [exclaims]
Glumshanks: Well tossed, sir. Well you seem to be in a particular evil mood today.
Kaos: Ooh, thank you for noticing! Yes, it's been a productive day so far. For instance, I just finished burying a prisoner alive to get him to talk.
Glumshanks: How will you know when he's ready to talk?
Kaos: Eh? Guess what else I did, Glumshanks?
Glumshanks: You finally formulated a plot to defeat the Skylanders.
Kaos: How did you know?
Glumshanks: Shot in the dark.
Kaos: Well, in my latest scheme is so stupendously evil that will be the very end of every Skyloser past, present and future! Behold! Are you beholding?
Glumshanks: Oh yes.
Kaos: Do you know what this is?
Glumshanks: I don't know, The Book of Skylanders?
Kaos: You are crushing the guess work today. Every Skylander ever is inscribed in the book, which binds their power to it for all eternity. So whoever controls the book controls the Skylanders! See where I'm going with this?
Glumshanks: You intend to control the book.
Kaos: Wow, you are on fire today. Or at least, you will be soon.
Glumshanks: [groans]
Kaos: Yes, I might have failed 314 times to defeat those fools, but if I have that book, I might finally prevail.
Glumshanks: Right. Isn't the book hidden deep in the bowels of the Academy?
Kaos: Yes, except for one day a year... Skylander graduation day. Eon will have the book at the ceremony to sketch the new Skylanders, and that's when I'll strike.
Glumshanks: Very good, sir. Well plotted, sir.
Kaos: You know it, baby. This calls for a celebration. I'm thinking something involving fire.
Glumshanks: [sighs] Can't we just have cake?
Buried man: Uh... I'm ready to talk now. Mr. Kaos? Oh, hello?

Roller Brawl: [grunting] Yah!
Eruptor: Ready, Elf?
Eruptor: Go!
[bell dings]
Stealth Elf: [grunting]
[bell dings]
Stealth Elf: Ooh! Yes! A new personal record. [panting] You know, Eruptor, it's been a lot of hard work getting up, but I feel ready for the games.
Eruptor: I'm just spit-balling here, Elfy, but why didn't you just zip through the course with your lightning speed to avoid those blade-y, kill-y things?
Eruptor: Or not.
Stealth Elf: I thought Spyro would be here for a final practice. Where is he?
Eruptor: I don't know. He said he had something more important to do.

[dance music playing]
Eruptor: [stammering] Why are all these people at our house? Elf, are we being robbed... In a very festive manner?
Sheep: [bleating]
Stealth Elf: Food Fight! What is all this?
Food Fight: Ha-ha. Duh! Your graduation party.
Stealth Elf: Um...
Ka-Boom: No one gets in unless they're on the list. Names?
Eruptor: Names? You know us. We live here with Spyro.
Ka-Boom: I don't make the rules, I just enforce them, Eruptor. Names?
Spyro: Eruptor! Elf! Welcome to the party.
Stealth Elf: Party? What party?
Spyro: What? You didn't see the e-vite?
Ka-Boom: You gotta check your spam filter, bro.
Stealth Elf: "Bro"?
Spyro: Cool, it's cool. These two are with me. They're VIPs.
Stealth Elf: You blew off our last practice to throw a party?
Sheep: [bleating]
Stealth Elf: We need to be rested and ready for the Skylander Games. You know, our final exam?
Food Fight: Food fight!
Stealth Elf: [chuckles] [groaning] Bleh!
Spyro: See? There you go. Now you're having fun.
Eruptor: Just be ready for tomorrow.
Spyro: [scoffs] I was born ready. Now relax, guys, and let's have some fun!
[camera shutter clicking]

[birds chirping]
Eruptor: Huh, Spyro's not out here either.
Stealth Elf: You checked his bedroom?
Eruptor: Mm-hmm.
Stealth Elf: The kitchen?
Eruptor: Mmm-hmm.
Stealth Elf: Bathroom?
Eruptor: We have a bathroom?
Stealth Elf: Huh. Well he must've gone to the games ahead of us. There is no way he'd miss the biggest day of his life.
Spyro: [snoring] [coughs] [continues snoring]

[crowd cheering]
Master Eon: Welcome to your final test, your opportunity to prove you are worthy in joining the protectors of our universe. By making it here, you have displayed great dedication to the Skylands, and to each other.
[crowd cheering]
Master Eon: [sighs] A dedication, that clearly not everyone is capable of. Those of you who pass will join of our teams of Skylanders based at the Academy, and with your colleagues, you will maintain the balance and harmony to our world, fighting against the threat of darkness and disorder. Without further ado, let the games begin. First up... Eruptor.

[horn blows]
[crowd cheering]
Eruptor: [chuckling]
[crowd cheering]
Glumshanks: Sir, if you hate the Skylanders so much, why are we here?
Kaos: I'm getting the layout of the land for my attack. Plus, I need to know who to draft for Skylander fantasy league.
Glumshanks: I guess every supervillain needs a pointless hobby. Ah!
Kaos: I don't judge me, Glumshanks. I don't mock those little candies you collect.
Glumshanks: That's my anxiety meditcation, sir.

Eruptor: [roars] It's spew-tiful!
Stealth Elf: Eruptor, you're on fire!
Eruptor: [chuckles] I know, right?
Stealth Elf: No, I mean you're literally on fire!
Eruptor: Oh! Oh right. That happens sometimes. No biggie.
Master Eon: Well done, Eruptor. On to stage two.
Eruptor: Stage two?
Master Eon: Choose a SuperCharger to navigate through an obstacle course of threats.
Eruptor: [chuckles] This ain't gonna end well. Vehicular assault was my worst class. Is this the seat belt button? Whoa!
Stealth Elf: Concentrate on the threats!
Eruptor: My ride is a threat. Oh!
Kaos: That does not look like me. I am much taller!

Spyro: [snoring] [gasps and roars] [yawns] Oh, man! Nothing like a good night's sleep, followed by a brisk horizontal shower.
[horn blowing faintly]
Master Eon: [in the distance] And now, candidate four... Hex!
Spyro: The Skylander Games!

Hex: [panting]
Skull: [panting] Well, that sucked!
Master Eon: And finally, candidate five... absent. This concludes your final test, so I hereby declare these Games officially, 100% irrevocably-
Spyro: Hero incoming, hot and fast! Oh. [chuckles] What's up, everybody? Looks like I made it almost practically on time.
Master Eon: Very well.
Spyro: Great, now let me just stretch the ol' wings an then we can-
Master Eon: Begin now! [blows horn]
Spyro: [grunting]
Stealth Elf: [gasps]
Spyro: [exhales]
Hologram Kaos: [laughing]
Spyro: [grunts]
Kaos: Yeah! That's what I'm talking about.
Master Eon: Candidates, I will now call out all of the names of those who have passed and will join me tomorrow as the newest members of the Skylanders. Eruptor... Pass.
Eruptor: Yes!
Master Eon: See you tomorrow at graduation. Bad Breath... Pass.
Bad Breath: Oh, wow! I'm happy... [burping]
Master Eon: [groans]
Bad Breath: Sorry, feelings make me gassy.
Master Eon: Hex... Fail.
Hex and Skull: [sigh]
Skull: We lost out to a guy whose superpower is burping. Burping!
Master Eon: Stealth Elf... Pass.
Stealth Elf: Yes!
Master Eon: And Spyro... Fail.
[crowd groaning]
Spyro: Eon says what now?
Master Eon: I warned you that your barely passing would not be good enough to become a Skylander. And it isn't. So, you fail.
[crowd groaning]
Master Eon: I am sorry, Spyro. But you will not enter The Book of Skylanders this year. I truly hope one day you will earn your place among us.
Spyro: [sighs] [groans]
[rain pouring]
Spyro: Okay, universe, I get the point!
[thunder rumbling]

Eruptor: [whistling] Oh! Ooh... [whistling continues] [chomping]
[bell dings]
Eruptor: [gasps and exclaims] Elf, are you trying to end me?
Stealth Elf: Spyro's still in his room? I know he feels bad, but he can't stay up there forever.
Eruptor: Well a couple of months might do some good.
Stealth Elf: [scoffs]
Eruptor: I'm just saying, maybe this is what it takes for him to finally learn his lesson.
Stealth Elf: A neverending pity-party isn't going to help. I'm going to check in and see if he's okay. Roadie pancake!
Eruptor: This is why we cannot have nice things!
Stealth Elf: Spyro?
Spyro: [sighs] Up high.
Stealth Elf: What are you doing?
Spyro: Oh, you know... [sniffs] wallowing.
Stealth Elf: Well can you wallow your way down here to talk to me for a minute? Then you can go back to feeling sorry for yourself. Look, just because you're not becoming a Skylander today, doesn't mean it won't happen.
Spyro: [sighs]
Stealth Elf: You're still the guy with the highest admissions test scores ever, you know.
Spyro: I know, I know, it's just... I guess I always thought everything would come easy to me. I let everybody down and it stinks.
Stealth Elf: Well, no time like the present to start making up for your mistakes. But the first thing you've got to do is come out of this room. You'll never be the hero we all know you can be just by staring at the floor all day.
Spyro: You, um... really think I'm a hero?
Stealth Elf: [sighs] Want to know what I really think?

[crowd cheering]
Eruptor: We did it, Elfy. We really made it.
Bad Breath: [burping]
Eruptor and Stealth Elf: [groan]
Bad Breath: Sorry, nervousness makes me gassy.
Eruptor: Everything makes you gassy.
Master Eon: Citizens of Skylands, it is my distinct pleasure... [softly] and contractual obligation... to welcome you!
[crowd cheering]
Kaos: These costumes were a great idea, hmm, Glumshanks?
Glumshanks: I'm surprisingly comfortable in mine, sir.
Kaos: Good. Now let's make our way inconspicuously towards the stage. [mock bleating] Oh, just move! Out of the way!

Spyro: Stupid pancakes. What a stupid jerk I've been. What a stupid, handsome jerk. You know what? Elf... Elf's right. It's time to stop feeling sorry for myself. I'm gonna go to that graduation, and I'm going to support my friends.

[crowd cheering]
Master Eon: And now, I will shall beging expertly sketching our newest members into The Book of Skylanders...
Stealth Elf: Eruptor, look!
Eruptor: Oh?
Spyro: [chuckles] Hey, look! Huh, what do you think?
Master Eon: [clears throat] Hugo, the book, please.
Glumshanks: Is it time to steal the book, sir?
Kaos: Don't get your bonnet in a twist, Glumshanks! We have to wait until all of the Skylanders are drawn so I can destroy every one of them.
Master Eon: With the final stroke, the Skylanders team welcomes our newest members... Eruptor... Stealth Elf... and... Bad Breath.
Spyro: Woo-hoo! Eruptor! Elf! Yeah!
Master Eon: Hugo, return this to the vault.
Hugo: Yes, sir! Nothing in the Skylands could prevent me from completing a mission of such utmost importance-
Kaos: [mock bleating]
Hugo: [shrieks] [panting]
Kaos: Glumshanks, it is time! Reveal me! [groaning]
[all gasp]
Master Eon: Kaos!
Kaos: You bet your sweet beard! And now the all powerful Book of Skylanders is mine! Mine! I've been dreaming of this moment all my week! [laughs maniacally]

[crowd screaming]

Kaos: [continues laughing] Now that I have your precious book, I finally have the ultimate control I need to end every one of you Skyjerks!
Master Eon: Skylanders, we must get the book back! Our very lives depend on it! Attack!
Jet-Vac: Ah!
Kaos: Well, well, if it isn't the original angry bird!
Jet-Vac: Ah!
Kaos: Oh!
Jet-Vac: [sighs] Good grief, for the love of... [screaming]

[crowd gasps]
Kaos: [laughs maniacally]
Pop Fizz: Two parts this one, one part that one.
Kaos: Ah-ha, there you are!
Pop Fizz: [screams] He's scrunching me! [screams]
Glumshanks: [gasps]
Kaos: One of the new Skyjerks, eh? Get a load of this!
Eruptor: Uh... you're going to attack me with outdated office supplies?
Master Eon: [gasp]
Eruptor: Ow, ow, ow. Oh! Oh! Ow! Ow, ow, ow, what the...
Kaos: [chuckling]
Bad Breath: [burping]
Glumshanks: No!
Kaos: Glummy, you took a belch for me? Oh great, now that smell is in your costume. I'll never get my deposit back.
Master Eon: Kaos can't defend against all of us at once, Skylanders!
Kaos: Oh, really? Stay back, or I'll burn the book, and all of you with it.

[crowd gasping]

Master Eon: You dolt. The book is too mighty to succumb to fire. It is a powerful relic that can never be burned.
Kaos: Huh. Can it be frozen?
Master Eon: Uh... No comment?
Kaos: [laughs maniacally]

[crowd gasping]

Glumshanks: [groans]

[crowd screaming]

Kaos: [exclaims] [laughs maniacally]
Spyro: [sing-song] I'm a good friend. A real good friend. Being supportive. Sacrificing my time. Eating this churro in a very supportive way.
[crowd screaming]
Spyro: Huh? Hey.
Mabu: [groans]
Spyro: What's happening?
Mabu: Kaos is attacking the Skylanders!
Spyro: What? Hold on, what I meant was... [slurps] What?
Mabu: Oh, that's much better. That really conveys the urgency.

Kaos: Well, this has been way too much fun. Look at all these frozen, defenseless losers. You know, it's really nice to be the one with all the power and wield it dangerously for once.
Glumshanks: This has been some first-class wielding, sir. You could write a how-to manual on the subject of... wielding.
Kaos: I already have!
Glumshanks: Before you start marking the calendar of your inevitable book tour, sir... Shouldn't you get back to destroying The Book of Skylanders and all of them with it?
Kaos: Glumshanks, don't rush me! It's been a long time since I've had a good gloat. Gloat with me, Glumshanks.
Glumshanks: Ahh...
Kaos: Gloat harder!
Glumshanks: [gloats forcibly]

Stealth Elf: Eruptor, can't you spew lava to free yourself?
Eruptor: [straining] I'm trying! [grunts] [roars] Hey, guys, guys, guys, I can't see. Is it working?
Spyro: Hey guys. Guys, it's me! Spyro.
Stealth Elf: Yeah, we know who you are.
Eruptor: Kaos put some sort of freeze spell on us. Aren't you feeling it, too?
Spyro: Nope, I'm balmy. It's balmy. It's kinda balmy. It's a little too hot. [chuckles] It's actually quite a nice day for a graduation. Uh, pollen count's a little too high, but... Wait a second! Kaos put a spell on the book and I'm not in it! He has no power over me.
Stealth Elf: Then go. Save yourself.
Spyro: No, no way. If there's one thing I've learned the past couple of days, it's that heroes can't just think of themselves. They have to sacrifice to be part of a team.
Kaos: Huh?

Spyro: Yo! Pumpkin Head!
Kaos: Pumpkin Head? No one calls me that!
Spyro: [chuckling] What? Everybody calls you that! Also Cantoulope Kid, Melon Skull, Steve, Senor Cabeza Grande-
Kaos: Steve? What does that even mean?
Spyro: I have no idea. I assume it was short for Steven. But what I do know is that you won't get away with this.
Kaos: Sure I will. I'm, like, about 98% done already. Actually, I was just about to head out. Come, Glumshanks!
Glumshanks: So the waiter says, "Sure I can open it, but there's a corkage fee." And I'm all like, "Corkage fee? Ha! I'll show you what to do with your corkage fee."
Kaos: Glumshanks!
Glumshanks: Ah!
Kaos: Ugh, again with the corkage fee?
Kaos and Glumshanks: [both gasping]
Spyro: You're not going anywhere, Steve!
Kaos: Who's going to stop me? You? You're not frozen, which means you're not in this book. No book means no Skylanders, which means you're nobody.
Spyro: You're right, I'm not a Skylander. But I can still stop you.
Glumshanks: [gasping]
Spyro: [low growling]
Kaos: [groaning]
Spyro: [grunts]
Kaos: [groans]
Spyro: [groans]
Kaos: [laughs maniacally] Now who's the Steve? Huh? Come, Glumshanks. As long as I continue to cast this freezing spell over their all-powerful book, the Skydorks will remain stuck here. Let's go toilet-paper their library, then destroy the world. Oops! One last thing.
Master Eon: [straining] Not my beard!
Kaos: Here, I got you a beardsicle!
Glumshanks: [chuckles nervously] Uh, good one, sir.
Kaos: Seriously! Take it!
Glumshanks: [slurps and gags]
Kaos: [chuckling]
Glumshanks: [groans] [moans]
Master Eon: Spyro! You must wake up. The fate of the Skylands depends on it! Wake up. Wake up! Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up. Hurry, Skylander!
Spyro: [gasping]

Kaos: [sighs] Petty vandalism is chicken soup for the evil soul. Now what was I going to do next? Right, destroy the world. Starting with this book. [grunting] [groans] Hand me that bust of Eon, Glummy.
Glumshanks: [grunts]
Kaos: Whoa! Some sort of single bookcase vault. Ooh, a double bookcase vault!
Glumshanks: I was hoping for another bookcase...
[scanner beeping]
Automated voice: Facial hair not recognized.
Kaos: Huh? Glumshanks, stop gobbling that beard and fork it over!

[Scanner beeping]
Automated voice: Disgustingly moist facial hair identified. Welcome, Master Eon.
Glumshanks: I was kinda hoping for another bookcase.

Spyro: Ha! How's that for fire safety?
Kaos: Glum-dog, how much bling is too much bling?
Glumshanks: One can never have too much bling, sir.
Kaos: Hmm, bling indeed... Oh... My, what have we here? Whoa! Ha!
[shutter clicking] Who's there?
Spyro: It's me... Nobody! But you can call me Spyro!
Kaos: You again? [grunting]
Spyro: [groaning]
Kaos: [laughs] And now to destroy the book.
Spyro: [groans]
Kaos: [grunting] [screams]
Spyro: Eon was right. Never gets old.
Kaos: Ha! No one electrocutes Kaos, boy!
Spyro: [groaning]
Kaos: About to be eliminated by the very book you're trying to save. Ironic, hm? Glumshanks, is that irony?
Glumshanks: I try to avoid irony, sir, on account of nobody knows what it means. But it's close enough.
Kaos: Excellent. [to Spyro] At least you learned one lesson before your end. You're not strong enough to beat me on your own.
Spyro: [straining] You're right, I'm not. [inhales and breaths fire on the Book]
Kaos: [chuckles] [shrieks] Hot, hot, hot book! Hot book! Hoo-yah! Oh... Alright, Plan-B, Glummy. Let's bury him alive until he talks. [laughs]
Spyro: [groans]
Kaos: Eh?
Master Eon: Now that you've seen the library, how about an aerial tour of the rest of the Academy?
Glumshanks: In hindsight, maybe you should've re-frozen that book, sir.
Kaos and Glumshanks: [screams]

[sheep bleaing]
Kaos: We're alive, Glumshanks! Alive!
Kaos and Glumshanks: [laughing] [both gasping]
Horde of sheep: [all bleating aggressively]
Kaos: Not good.

Spyro: [groaning]
Master Eon: Spyro... are you alright?
Spyro: Uh, no, can't that say I am. I'm actually in a staggering amount of pain.
Master Eon: Yes... we've all suffered terrible losses today.
Spyro: You know, Master Eon, this entire experience has taught me so much. And I want you to know that I'll be ready to go next year.
Master Eon: I think you are ready now, Spyro. When you were in the bubble and I called you Skylander, I meant it. I knew you could rise to the occasion and prove yourself worthy. You have honored us all by finding your balance in the form of selfless heroism and sacrifice.
Spyro: Thank you, Eon. Now, are you getting my good side? You're right, who am I kidding? They're both my good side.
Stealth Elf: Really, dude? Really?
Spyro: You're totally right. It doesn't matter what I look like. Character growth, huh?
Master Eon: Skylanders... meet your newest teammate.
Spyro: Uh... hmm.
Hugo: Don't worry, I always fix them. Just humor him.
Spyro: [groans and laughs] Thanks, guys. I owe you big time.
Eruptor: [chuckles] Oh, yeah, you do.
Stealth Elf: What he said. Now don't screw this up!
Spyro: Hey, what about Bad Breath?
Eruptor: He got so scared when Kaos attacked that he wouldn't stop burping. Then he felt bad about that and he starting crying. Burping, crying, burping, crying, crying, burping. That kid is an emotional wafer cookie.
Master Eon: Yes, uh... Bad Breath will be spending some time working on his... gastrointestinal stability before he re-joins the team. Now then, you are all full-fledged Skylanders and will shoon share grand adventures on imporant missions in service of the academy. But for now, enjoy your accomplishments. [stutters] And please... no parties.
Spyro: Copy that. Fewer parties. Whoo! [chuckles] Yes! [laughing] Whoo-hoo! Whoo! Whoo! Ha-ha!

Glumshanks: Perhaps it's not my place to point out, sir, but you have a disturbing... rash going on here in the back. I might have some ointment. Some salve, perhaps. I could, uh, put you in touch with a... very good dermatologist. Fellow by the name of-
Kaos: Glumshanks!
Glumshanks: Well, sir, I guess it wasn't meant to be this time.
Kaos: Only because something greater was meant to be, Glumshanks. A discovery which will not only end the Skylosers, but all of Skylands! Behold! Are you-
Glumshanks: I'm beholding.
Kaos: Inside the vault, I found the location of the most important place in the Skylands, where light and dark meet in perfect harmony!
Glumshanks: A black and white cookie from Lou's Deli?
Kaos: No, dummy, the Core of Light! The hub of all balance and peace in this cursed universe! And now that I know where it is, I will destroy it and unleash darkness on the Skylands forever.
Glumshanks: Oh, I didn't need to see that. End of time. Reign of darkness. Very good, Steve. Uh, I mean... I mean, sir.
Kaos: [laughs maniacally]

[end theme]


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